A coworker posted a link to this article on Facebook, which I found pretty interesting:
As a parent, I often feel inundated with guilt – about exactly how precious my children’s lives are, about what they’re supposed to be doing, what they’re supposed to be able to do, how they should dress, what I should feel, what they should say – everything. And I don’t even get the worst of it – I’m not a person who is necessarily prone to feeling guilty about this sort of thing, and it’s not targeted at me that often. I feel worse for my wife, and all moms, who deal with a far more powerful onslaught of guilt, judgement, and armchair quarterbacking about who they ought to be, and what their relationship with their kids should be. I’m consistently amazed at both how powerful “Mom guilt” is, and also how prevalent the ideas and forces that cause it are.
So this article resonates with me. I love my kids very much. I want the best for them – both now, in their little tiny lives, and in the future, as they grow up to be adults and maybe have children of their own. And when I think about what that really means – what “the best for them” is, the best I can come up with is this:
The most important thing I think I can give my kids is permission to live their lives as fully as possible, and the best way I can think to do that is to lead by example.
As if to really accentuate the point, I’m finding it incredibly difficult not to clarify that further – to reassure you of all the things I do, or try to do, to make sure they’re perfect. But that’s the problem – wanting, needing to show the world just how committed we are to our kids. So I won’t. I love them, I want what’s best for them, and that’s what matters.
Peter Butler 